


peace be unto you

by orphan_account



Category: Ender's Game - All Media Types
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-07
Updated: 2015-04-07
Packaged: 2018-03-21 15:57:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3698276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(there is pain<br/>there is sorrow<br/>there is loss)<br/>but what there isn’t<br/>is<br/>more time</p>
            </blockquote>





	peace be unto you

**Author's Note:**

> finished ender's game in two hours, fell asleep on top of the book, woke up and started writing.
> 
> this is also my attempt at writing in a different style than what i usually do
> 
> it's more poetic
> 
> but eh
> 
> posted un-edited, so if it seems a little sloppy and rushed, it is
> 
> (also stems out of my refusal that ender wouldn't have contacted at least _someone_ )

he remembers their kiss

ragged breath from the battleroom, skating across his cheeks/wisps of hair tickling his ear/quiet laughter heard in the corridor

(no one ever knew)

 _salaam_ , alai whispers, and for such a soft word it blows harsh in ender’s mind as he turns over and over trying to understand what it all means

and then there is bonzo and salamander army and learning and teaching and watching

and sometimes he forgets that it ever happened at all and then there are times when it’s always on his mind

the extra practices didn’t ever help; he was too busy being a teacher and a legendary soldier and never had time to be just a kid, a friend

and months and months come to pass

and he’s the commander of an army, finally

(it’s no small feat but he _hates it hates it hates it_ )

and he’s in the gameroom

and

 _you'll_ _never win that way_

and it’s the first time they've spoken together, alone, in weeks

and they exchange friendly banter

(call it what you will, his mind tells him, but they'll all go back to hating you tomorrow)

( _legendary_ ender wiggins

 _that brat_ ender wiggins

 _murderer_ ender wiggins

his name tacked onto various words, and words have no meaning, he tries telling himself, but then what is he, without words to describe what he really is)

_i wasn't, alai. holding anything back._

_i know. neither was i._

_salaam, alai_ , says ender, without knowing the full meaning, repeating what was said too long ago

_alas, it is not to be._

alas

peace

( _peace be unto you_ is whispered in the coolness of the commander’s room

_salaam, alai_

_peace_ )

is not to be

(there is pain

there is sorrow

there is loss)

but what there isn’t

is

more time

 

* * *

 

dear alai

i am joining the first colony. the news must be already announced by the time you get this--mail does take its time to earth from eros. i did not want to go as much as you think i did. the journey will take only two years in my time. on earth 50 years will have passed before we get to the bugger’s worlds. so all of you will be old, and i will young, not yet fourteen to your 60 odd years. you will have accomplished all that you need and i have accomplished too much to be of use. i have lived my life too used to the feel of pain that i can't live without it anymore.

give my goodbyes to everyone.

all my love

ender


End file.
